so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
