do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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