Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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