Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
