and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize