She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
