pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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