OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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