Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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