Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
