he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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