Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
