that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
