the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
