It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
