Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
