There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
