In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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