So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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