I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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