I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
