im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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