You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
