Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize