She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
