If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
