I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
