How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
