Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
