I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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