my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
