Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
