seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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