"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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