dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
