You work out of a Hotel?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
