I think scott just propositioned me for sex
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
