How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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