My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
