Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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