I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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