every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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