Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
