Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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