if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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