if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
