I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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