What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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