no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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