Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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