the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm always down for nudity.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
