Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The power of my boobs compel you
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize