After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
