Midget sex pt 2 tonight
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
