Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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