Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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