I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Randomize
