Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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