I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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