He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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