great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
