i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
